Two mothers whose children went to Montessori schools were discussing the observations they made after a visit to the school. They compared their observations to what they saw in a regular school – to what they themselves had grown up with:
Children who didn’t need to be told what to do, who weren’t yelled at to be quiet.
Like busy little ants the children scurried back and forth enjoying doing work. They kept the area clean, they helped each other and they concentrated hard on the task at hand. And they all followed the rules set for them. “Why?” the mothers wondered, “can’t it be like this at home?”
So off they went to the Centre for Montessori Training - Chennai to find out the secret behind these miracle children they saw at school who behaved differently at home.
Having understood some basic principles of the Montessori Method, they tried to apply them to their own attitudes toward the children at home. Parents tried to give children space to make their own choices on what to wear and eat, work on showing their respect for children by listening to them with attention and focusing on how to nurture their self-esteem. Some months later they couldn’t stop talking to their friends about how their relationships with their children had changed to a calmer and more peaceful co-existence. Children were actually quite self-disciplined, and motivated to do the right thing.
Soon the group of friends began meeting regularly, exchanging notes, trying out more aspects of the Montessori philosophy at home. They found that as parents they needed an ongoing forum in which they could get exposed to new ideas, practice new skills, implement them at home and come back to share their experiences. From this came the idea of setting up small groups (8-10 parents) which meet every week with a facilitator.
It is in this context that a new wing of CMT-C was born - Positive Parenting with the objective of supporting parents of today.
Using Maria Montessori’s scientific discoveries of the child, CMT-C works with parents to help them understand better the nature and needs of children.
Our Objectives:
- To provide space for parents to share their concerns.
- To empower parents with a better understanding of the needs of a child that influence his behaviour.
- To introduce parents to fresh perspectives that will help bring about change
- To help parents explore ways of building a positive and more effective relationship with their children
Today, Positive Parenting has weekly workshops in 4 locations across the city and
conducts one-day sessions for large groups.
Applying Montessori Philosophy to Parenting :
Positive Parenting reaches out to parents from different backgrounds, who find great value in using Montessori principles in the way they raise their children.
The content of the programme is as follows:
I. UNDERSTANDING YOUR CHILD - In this module which is based on human tendencies we help parents understand the needs and characteristics of the child at each stage of development. For example, when a child throws a tantrum at a late night party they now know that the child’s need for order has been disturbed, or when a child wants to touch some curios they realize that this is part of his need for exploration. With this understanding they are able to respond to and meet the child’s needs on a day to day basis without conflict and this has led to a positive relationship between parent and child.
II. BUILDING INNER DISCIPLINE - In this module we present to parents Montessori’s discoveries about the true nature of the child - that the child has an inner discipline which has to be nurtured and that he does not have to be pummeled into shape through reward and punishment. Parents are helped to see how external forms of punishment such as bribes and threats do not really help the child grow to be responsible. We explore ways of setting boundaries and building inner discipline at home.
III. SELF ESTEEM - In this module we ask parents to reflect on factors that shape every person’s sense of self. From this exercise comes the realization that many of the things we do as parents such as constant correction, accusation, blame, lecturing do not help the child but only work towards making the child feel inadequate. From this parents are able to see their role as a guide and are able to offer children indirect help which nurtures self esteem
IV. COMMUNICATION - In this module we look at what communicating respectfully means and work with parents to practice it in a variety of situations.
- Helping children to express/ acknowledge their feelings
- Understanding the causes of children’s anger
- Developing non-violent styles of communication at home.
- Avoiding negative patterns of communication (nagging, threatening, etc.)
V. HELPING CHILDREN LEARN - In a society where most children are under tremendous academic pressure we discuss with parents the concept that “children teach themselves”- Learning is not something that has to be forced on them. We help parents understand that every child has a desire to learn and develop and how they can help nurture this quality rather than squash it.
Besides these core topics which aim at developing an approach to parenting, all other topics of concern to parents are taken up such as food habits, temper tantrums, sexuality, sibling rivalry, sharing etc. All these are viewed through the basic philosophy of respecting and trusting the child.
Our Programmes :
Weekly groups:
Parenting programs are most effective if held as a series. Small groups meet on a weekly basis and take up a different issue for discussion each week with input from our facilitators.
In Chennai - Annanagar, T-Nagar, Chetpet and Adyar.
Workshops:
We have been conducting one-day parenting workshops for groups such as ladies wing of Round Table and Corporates like Orchid Pharma. Such workshops are on a specific topic depending on the needs of that particular group.
Workshops with Experts:
We also organize workshops on topics related to parenting with experts in that field in order to get an in depth understanding of certain issues. For e.g. we have had workshops with Tulir Centre for Prevention of Child Sexual Abuse and Nirmala Pandit, Expert on Learning styles and Multiple Intelligences. |
